Liner Family Blog: 8/14/16

Many weeks ago, the first light in my life decided it was time to turn 8. I was in denial and think I still am! It was the week before school started and I mentally decided that I was going to block it from my heart and mind. How and when did my little boy turn 8? For his birthday, Jason and I decided that we would update his room to reflect this change. We got him a new comforter that is just stripes, no animals or cute creatures. We then took down the wall decals that matched - the grasshoppers, fireflies, frogs and lilypad are all gone! Replacing them are the Notre Dame and UNC decals given to him by Nana. And just like that, in the course of one afternoon - my little boy was gone and even his room made that point.

I feel like I have spent so much time working on making sure that everything gets done and everyone was ready for all the changes with the end of summer and the start of school that I ignored the biggest one. Somehow, right before my eyes, Chase is all grown up. I loved my little boy but I have to admit that even now I see that time has passed. From the way he starts his homework before I even get a chance to ask what needs to be done to the way that he makes sure the his brothers make it to the school building every morning. He is grown up and already showing me the kind of man he will become. One who thinks about others and what they need. One who worries when someone isn't happy and tries to figure out how he can do something to change that. One who still loves his Mom and wants to have some time with just the two of us but won't always admit or show it in public. We are still working through some of the 'growing pains' that accompany being 8 and trying to find your own way and your new place. But with each of the these phases, a better Chase seems to emerge. I find myself just watching him in the rear view mirror as we drive to school. I see that his cheeks aren't as round and his eyes don't seem so guarded. Gone is the face of a toddler or little boy and emerging is the face of a young man. Yet, mixed in with this new look is a gap toothed smile given with pride and excitement over the loss of his first two teeth (finally). A gentle reminder that he is still changing and growing. He is full of purpose and intent. While he is still silly and goofy, he finds a way to focus when he needs to. He hates to disappoint and strives for perfection - not because I ask him to, but because he seeks it personally. If anything, I am working to remind him that mistakes are okay. They are a way to remind us that we still have room to grow - even as adults - and learning from those mistakes makes us better. Finding that balance to strive for more without forgetting that he is a still a boy who needs to run and laugh and play is a work in progress but I think he is doing it with style.

Swim team 2016 Banquet

To My Dearest Chase,

As my firstborn, I tend to ask you to do more than you should. To lead at times when you need to just play and you do so with grace and honor. You are an amazing role model for your brothers and those around you. When you laugh, I mean really laugh, your eyes light up and twinkle with a joy and a color that can't be described. You remind me daily that I am here for a reason - to teach you, but more importantly, to learn from you. As we move through each day together, you constantly remind me what you are capable of. From the way you focus and strive to do your best at school, on the sporting field, court, course or at home, you delight me in a way I didn't think was possible. We will always have our differences and conflicts but just remember at the end of the day, I will always be your Mom and will love you. You are the light in my life and I could spend hours just thinking about the ways you shine. Your list of accomplishments this past year are many - still the soccer star and quick on the basketball court. All-star team in spring baseball and multiple heat winner in several strokes during your first summer on the swim team. In a couple of weeks, you will participate in your first triathalon - something neither your Dad nor I have ever done. You are always working towards being the first - first to try, first to finish! My first born. It is a role where you are very comfortable and I wouldn't change it for the world....

You are always my first and I love you! Here's to many more great years to come....

Love,
Mom