I guess Jason really does the recap of our family in our Christmas letter he composes so I don't have to honestly do much reflecting on the last year. However, this last year held some personal moments for me that he didn't really touch on much, they aren't really appropriate for the Christmas letter.
Of course, the major item is losing my dad. I don't know if I can put into words what that has done to me. I don't even know if I even fully understand myself just yet. All I know is that without Chase to 'force' me into Christmas this year, I can honestly say I would have skipped the whole thing. That is the second major piece of this past year. having Chase has reminded me about the importance of love. Saying it, expressing it and truly meaning it. My dad's favorite holiday was Christmas so for me, this one was the toughest. Harder than his birthday (it was still too new for me to really grasp him not being here and since it fell on Easter Sunday, I had a built-in distraction), harder than Chase's birthday (I was pregnant at the time, although I lost the baby a few weeks later), harder than my birthday or Thanksgiving. It seemed like every box I opened had yet another reminder of my dad. Something he had bought me on impulse or something that had a story tied to it. I guess the lesson I learned this holiday, with my mom by my side, forcing me to decorate and 'get into the spirit' was that all those 'things' have special stories that I will be able to share with Chase about my Dad. While I will never have another picture of Chase with my Dad holding him, I can still watch Chase grow and tell my dad the stories I would if he were here and I can still tell Chase all the great stories I have of my Dad. That for me is what this last year has meant. Sometimes, from your greatest loss comes a new sense of purpose and direction. For me, the new direction is to make sure that my family knows just how important they are to me and to make sure that I have lots of stories that everyone can share. Work, money, houses and cars don't mean anything if I don't have my family to share them with. You can take all the rest, I just want love and family memories.
Here are some shots of Chase from the holidays. I still can't believe how big he has gotten. He is verbal like crazy and will try to say almost anything. For the most part, I can understand what he says. Jason is still working on it and being home for 2 weeks has definitely helped in that regard. He is climbing on top of everything, and I mean everything! Tables, chairs, beds and dogs...poor Captain seems to be his new favorite climbing tree. Of course we have had some mishaps. The most recent being a fall into the side of my oversized chair and getting quite a lovely bruise on his right cheek...looks to most like he has dirt that needs to be cleaned but no, it is just a bruise.
It amazes me every day just how much he learns and how quickly he does it. From his Christmas presents to opening cabinets and drawers that I would rather he not, it takes only one 'example' for him to be able to replicate and duplicate your movements. His control when throwing a ball and kicking is becoming much better and Jason and I think we may have a southpaw on our hands. He eats with his right (or left if he is starving) but will color, draw and throw with his left. We try to get him to do things with his right and he looks awkward but as soon as he switches hands, he is much happier and much better at completing his task.
